Sex and Fear (fetish exploration)

For most people, sex and fear are inextricably intertwined. At first glance I think most people miss it. Some would even deny it. But an examination of an individual’s sexuality will almost always uncover a host of fears. And the kinkier the person, the more interesting the fears.

Lets take Pantyboys, for example.

I’ve lost count of the number of times men have whispered to me “I like to wear women’s panties… does that mean I’m gay?”  I usually respond with a question of my own: “Are you sexually attracted exclusively to men?”  If they answer no, which is usually the case, then I tell them they are not gay. But they still don’t want to let go of that fear-linkage that wearing panties equals gay. Why?

Because the fear, even more than the panties, is the spice. Fear spikes the sexual punch. The forbidden (panties) makes it more exciting, but the fear (maybe this means I’m gay, or, what if someone catches me, or, does this mean I am a sissy) is the necessary ingredient for sexual satisfaction. The fear pushes the ejaculate button in most panty-boys. As a FemDom it is fun to figure out not the fetish (panties) but the fear intertwined with the fetish (what if my girlfriend catches me) and use it to push those buttons.

It is fun to play the girlfriend catching them in panties. It is fun to be angry and mocking. And sometimes its fun to threaten to take photos and ruin their lives if they don’t put on a nightie, too (sissification, anyone?).  Sometimes its fun to make them clean house wearing panties only, with the windows and curtains open so the neighbors might see (exhibitionism, humiliation). And sometimes it is most fun to threaten to invite a gay friend over to see the pantyboy and decide for himself if my boyfriend is gay.

For some, humiliation, degradation, and embarassment are the fear-linkages. For others, gay sexuality is the real erotic hot button.  What if the girlfriend finds me in panties and forces me to do things with another man? And that is where I come in.  Because I can “force” pantyboys to explore this fantasy in the safety of their minds at no risk to themselves, and very little cost. In many ways, when it comes to exploring fetishes, fear, and sex, having a FemDom in your life is priceless.